I pondered this one a bit, and initially discarded it. But in the spirit of ‘ my blog my rules’ I will have 3 habits that have improved my life.

In no particular order. Retirement. Bobbing. Blogging. Although without retirement the other two would be less possible. Blogging existed in a much lesser way before retirement. Other Bobbers manage to bob without being retired.

All three feed my creativity and nourish my soul. I was creative on the side before I retired. Now I have more time, more thinking time and more down time. Creativity is no longer a side issue. It sits at the centre with voluntary admin and domestic admin taking up the side bars.

Retirement took me away from an amazing group of friends and colleagues. There were some rogue* colleagues of course, people best left behind when you close your work locker for the last time. I have done that a few times!

Bobbing gives me silly , lovely friends to swim in the sea with and made me move into a community that can use my transferable skills and also gives me amazing friends, no rogues at bobbing, maybe some in the community. For the most part avoidable.

Blogging brings everything together old friends , new friends, local friends and some, all around the world that I may never meet. Casting words out into the world, with no knowledge of where they land is very therapeutic.

My blog, my rules, 3 habits to improve my life, and it was already pretty good anyway.

• Rogue is a polite term for Arrogant, Ego driven, duplicitous, lazy, scheming, total arseholes. There maybe other categories I have forgotten. But we have all worked with them.

The hardest of ‘hard years’ were the years when my children were very small and both my parents were terminally ill and we lived 300 miles apart. The support of my husband and friends helped me get through it, but in truth, as an only child with no substantial extended family, what got me through it was me. I emerged from that period changed and damaged forever. The damage buried deep beneath many layers of a woman who was coping with whatever life was throwing at her.

Hard years just like good years are the foundations that the years yet to come are built on. The cracks and fault lines caused by the hard years are just that. Cracks and fault lines, good years build strength and stability around them. I know where the cracks are and they can largely be avoided. Sometimes one trips me up when I least expect it. Flying over Australia recently, opened up a crack I didn’t even know was there. Suddenly I was grieving for all the stuff I didn’t do while I was busy coping with all the serious stuff that hard years generate.

Thank goodness we are not required to mourn missing out on serious stuff when life is all tickety boo. That would be a counterproductive cycle of thinking.

Although in fairness there are quite a lot of people who love a good wallow in their own and other peoples misfortune. Soul Suckers.

If your glass is half empty, top it up a bit.

Into Each Life Some Rain Must Fall
Song by Ella Fitzgerald and The Ink Spots



Into each life some rain must fall
But too much is falling in mine
Into each heart some tears must fall
But someday the sun will shine
Some folks can lose the blues in their hearts
When I think of you another shower starts
Into each life some rain must fall
But too much is falling in mine
Into each life some rain’s got to fall
Too much, too much, too much is falling in mine
Into each heart some tears must fall
But someday the sun will shine
Some folks can lose the blues in their hearts
But when I think of you, pretty baby
That’s when another shower starts
Into each life some rain’s got to fall
Too much, too much, too much is falling in mine, oh yeah
Into each and every life some rain is bound to fall
But too much of that stuff is falling in mine
And into each heart some tears must fall
But I know, baby, that someday that old sun is bound to shine
Some folks can lose the blues in their hearts
But when I think of you, pretty baby
That’s when another shower starts
Into each life some rain’s got to fall

These lyrics are about a failed romantic relationship . But I have always hung on to the notion that eventually, after the hard bits of life the sun will eventually shine again. It always does.

For this reason I like in particular these 4 lines from the song.

Into each life some rain must fall
But too much is falling in mine
Into each heart some tears must fall
But someday the sun will shine

This blog prompt could not have come on a better morning. See Part 1 below.

#1529 theoldmortuary ponders. Part 1

The very best way to improve my sleep would be to swim in the sea just before getting into bed. Which is exactly what I did last night.

I am not really the best person to give hints and tips on building self-confidence because as a character trait in others I find it can be built on pretty flimsy foundations. I would make a rather wild observation that often the most self-confident people build their confidence on the most unstable and unreliable foundations. So I view unquestioning or showy self-confidence with a fair degree of scepticism and distrust.

I constantly question myself and really believe that every day is a schoolday. Knowing that the foundations of my confidence are constantly under review might sometimes make me seem less than confident but actually I might just be reviewing and reflecting on new information or the shared wisdom of others. All waiting to be stored in my confidence foundations ready for future use.

So before building self-confidence always check that your foundations are sound, because self-confidence in the wrong hands is dangerous, unattractive and nothing to be proud of.

How do I build loyal subscribers?

A big question for a big number #1500

1500 oldmortuary ponderings, before that the Pandemic Ponderings. Pandemic Ponderings started the accidental habit of a daily blog.

So perhaps the answer is that I turn up nearly every day and increasingly so do many of you. Not so long ago 20 readers logged by WordPress was one measure of my daily reach. Recently things have become a little giddy and 200 is not unusual.

Like all big questions in life I don’t have definitive answers but a few principles that work for me.

I never set out to have a quirky moral compass, it has just formed over the years. I know it is not perfect but I always distrust perfection. Wabi-Sabi is neat Japanese phrase that sums up my feeling.

Not being perfect has always seemed a good path to travel and I know that that is hugely controversial. And also not for everyone. But knowing when to stop is every bit as valuable as starting.

I can do perfect, but for personal perfection I aim a little lower.

Maybe that is the secret to building anything worthwhile.

Subscribers

A Family

Friendships

There is an interesting footnote to this. Although I am an avid manipulator of images. I build in deliberate error, using several different apps and hand drawn or painted elements.

The rise of AI in image creation is unstoppable. Recently every organisation seems capable of producing posters to advertise events that are retro, homely or ( even worse) wholesome. The absolute perfection of these posters makes me feel queasy. A genuine physical response not too dissimilar from mild travel sickness. I can’t really explain it. Maybe my desire for slight imperfection is more significant than I realise.