Tag: Conversations

#192 theoldmortuary ponders

On By theoldmortuary.designIn TalkingLeave a comment

We are all made of stories. I’ve always known this but seeing a neon sign saying exactly that makes the notion seem less of an abstract thought. I would like to add something else to the statement.

In my previous career, talking to people was an add on. Medical Imaging requires loads of technical skills. Being ‘good’ with patients and colleagues is valuable but secondary to the main task. Being a gallery guide in a museum is the exact opposite, my art knowledge is a secondary skill to that of engaging, or not *, with people as they move around the space. Talking to people you don’t actually know is an adventure that can take you down the dullest cul-de-sac, or onto  a thought provoking moment. Even if the interaction isn’t the most positive conversation you have ever had, there is often something to be gained from it. We should all be grateful our thought bubbles remain our own private dialogue.

Thankfully I’m able to dump all the bad or negative interactions I’ve had with strangers in a pile that rarely troubles me. The good ones can be transient or live long in my thoughts. Sometimes with regret that they couldn’t have gone on for longer or had sequels. But mostly they become another one of the stories that I am made of, even if they are a teeny tiny piece of my own jigsaw. They also are, however briefly, a part of my journey.

Talking to strangers is life enhancing.

* Sometimes not talking to someone is a positive act, reading body language and judging the right time to not talk is also a great communication tool.

Now is my time to stop talking!

Pandemic Pondering #476

On By theoldmortuary.designIn dog walks, HomeLeave a comment

At last we have WiFi. Back in the world of communicating via tech. It’s funny that my morning walk showed me benches and seats that are set up to allow non tech human to human conversation. The one above is set up high on a look out point accessed via one of two ‘secret’ Gardens close to home. The view from here is spectacular.

But two deck chairs set up for side to side nattering has huge potential for a satisfying conversation. The other`secret’ garden has a bench for four people to enjoy a lively chat.

During the various lock downs we have sat at each of these locations to have conversations and coffee. Much as we love a good natter for its own sake the benefit of talking and laughing or consoling with other people has been immense in the last 18 months.

My final great seat of nattering is a beauty.

Large enough to hold two bubbles of people and perfectly positioned outside, but under a stone canopy for inclement weather. This one has been a winter favourite with one negative point. It is made of metal and can be very cold on the bum.

A small celebration of the potential of conversation on the day @theoldmortuary is finally back in the loop.

Pandemic Pondering #387

On By theoldmortuary.designIn Pandemic ponderings, Serendipity2 Comments

L’esprit de l’escalier is a French term used in English for thinking of the perfect reply too late. I think it is mostly considered to be a witty or clever retort that would finish of a conversational or indeed confrontational encounter more perfectly.

Where is the handy french term for when you/ I, have thought of the perfect retort and delivered it leaving the other person stunned and perhaps uncomfortable. A linguistic victory certainly but not always kind.

Kindness at the end of a conversation is another of those moments with no useful term. Hugely important during difficult conversations when serious, possibly hurtful and important points need to be conveyed. If there is love, care, affection or even just integririty that must be built into that conversation the parting words need to be perfectly judged if the conversation is to be effective rather than harmful. A lifetime of harm can be caused without the right conversational ending included. If only these things could be straightforward.

The whole business of ‘stair case wit’ which I have expanded to Staircase Wisdom is chronically complicated and acutely regrettable. I have a huge dusty box in my personal archive of conversations that were not perfect because I got the end wrong.

The trouble is, unlike this collection of staircases, conversation with another is never black and white, and it can be complicated and unpredictable. The conversations in my head always go much better to plan.

The link below takes you to a less personal consideration of L’esprit de l’escalier. I hope that is the perfect ending.

L’esprit de l’escalier

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/L%27esprit_de_l%27escalier

Here is a less than perfect ending , the steps that I imagine take me to my store of archived badly finished conversations. I don’t imagine I’m ever going to be diplomatic or wise enough not to need to store badly finished conversations in an imagined room beyond these stairs any time soon. These steps will continue to be well worn, a little bit smelly and unloved until I can no longer engage in meaningful conversation.