Category: Yardening

#1405 theoldmortuary ponders.

On By Juliet CornellIn autumn, Scrag End of Summer, Yardening1 Comment

Washing on the line in a heatwave. This picture exudes the heat of our recent heatwaves. Washing dried in less than two hours.

Another happy heat-loving space is our tropical bed . Less happy are the pot grown plants of which we have many. Pot grown plants failed to thrive and went into a protective phase, not dying but not doing any growing or ripening.

But nearly a month since the last really hot weather all plants have snapped back into action. Tomatoes and Strawberries are prolific and as red as you could hope for. Everything else is growing away. The potted palm trees are throwing out new leaves. But days are shortening so yesterday all the potted palms were moved into the areas with maximum daylight in September. My hope is that their new leaves will unfurl and get stronger before the high winds of October.

With October in mind I decided to start on Autumnisation of the yard. It feels wrong in bright summer-like, September sunlight, but it is a job that must be done. A grubby job but satisfying with the reward of a cleansing swim. Chillier than I have become used to but still lovely reward for my labours.

Full disclosure there is vitually no difference between autumnisation and wint**isation but I really cannot contemplate that word just yet and neither can my potted palms.My washing is already suffering day-long drying that is not quite 100% . Autumnisation sucks.

#1287 theoldmortuary ponders.

On By theoldmortuary.designIn art, Bobbing, Serendipity, Yardening1 Comment
Full Moony bobbers under a Sturgeon moon.

Share a hobby you’ve picked up recently — what got you into it?

Not just me and not just the Bobbers. A little moment of skinny dipping in Firestone Bay under a full moon.

Although with full disclosure I had to paint the Sturgeon moon and add it to the image afterwards, because the sky was densely greige with clouds.

The three swimming bays were alive last night with the happy chatter of swimmers who had discarded swimwear, and their allies who swam alongside wearing textiles.

A Full Moonie is all about swimming at night under the full moon even if the moon fails to turn up.

What got us into it?

Just one bobbers 60th Birthday Bucket List, earlier in the year.

Who  knows if we will keep it up through the winter. Nothing is impossible with the Bobbers but I suspect nudity might be very brief in the winter months ,no matter how hardy we believe we are.

The swim was silkily warm and thoroughly enjoyable. As ever the after-bob chatter was free flowing and wildly multi-faceted.

@theoldmortuary had spent the day working in the yard. Just a small amount of painting left to do before winter. But having painted the moon for the bobbers it would be a waste not to see it over a nearly finished yard.

If only our still green tomatoes could be so easily faked.

Five heatwaves and not a single red tomato yet.

But with a multi-purpose Sturgeon Moon even a ripe tomato is possible.

Following on from yesterday’s blog ⬇️

#1286 theoldmortuary ponders.

Artistic Interpretation and Artificial Intelligence. A.I two ways.

#1283 theoldmortuary ponders.

On By theoldmortuary.designIn Serendipity, YardeningLeave a comment

The outside fireplace/barbque in our yard has only ever been used with an electric grill plate. I have often thought about using a fire log in it, but until this weekend have not put that thought into action.

The fireplace is an impressive erection ,  smoke should rise up a reasonable sized gap at the back and exit via the chimney. The fireplace may be a case of style over substance. Form and function are not quite aligned.

Artistic Impression © theoldmortuary

The reality did not quite match my imagination, my five year old flame log was quite impressive.

But the flames were lively and the smoke did not get drawn up the chimney,  there were some concerns from our yard visitors regarding the use of railway sleepers in the construction.

All was well, but today I took the precaution of lowering the shelving and moving things around to make the whole experience more relaxing.

The whole yard had a bit of a reorganisation at the same time. Definitely a sign that we are well and truly back in a normal British August. I dodged rain showers which was easier than dodging the blistering heat of our heatwaves. But now I really want to see how my changes look in sunshine. A normal British August will keep me guessing on when that will next happen.

#1347 theoldmortuary ponders

On By theoldmortuary.designIn Stonehouse Lawn Tennis Club, Yardening1 Comment
Prepping for the Yarden Party

A day of two food based parties.The first, a breakfast party with friends in our yard. Apart from photo opportunities all food for the yarden party had to be stored up high and cooked on the garage roof. The garage is half subterranean.  Stanley, a border terrier with a refined palate. Any food  on offer he is willing to refine, was one of our guests. Oh, how I thought I was a genius cooking on the roof of our half underground garage. Oh, how stupid could I be.  Stanley took an early swipe at a chocolate croissant. As I turned to have a very stern but polite word with Mr Stanley, Salty the Seagull swiped bacon from the grill. Salty was told, far more vigorously to clear off. I find swearing at seagulls does not offend . Swearing at a dog with an old chaps name just feels wrong, disrespectful even.

Party number two was a community garden party at the tennis club I help to run. A hugely joyful event with tea, cake, sunshine and wonderful live music.

No dogs allowed so food was safe in that regard. Plenty of seagulls but they were in a benign mood. All in all a hugely successful event enjoyed by everyone who attended. There was of course some moaning. The club, apparently is not the same as it used to be in some mythical  past when others were more involved with the running of it.  The moaners were, of course, treated with the same respect as Mr Stanley was given in the morning. But in truth a more vigorous response, as applied to the seagull stealing the morning bacon was deserved.

#1531 theoldmortuary ponders.

On By theoldmortuary.designIn Bobbing, Cornwall, Devils Point, Devon, Firestone Bay, Gardens and gardening, Plymouth, Stonehouse Lawn Tennis Club, Yardening1 Comment
Stonehouse Lawn Tennis Club Gardens

Gardening, Gig Rowing, Yardening, Gig Rowing. Saturday was the second day of the European Gig Racing Championships in Plymouth Sound. It was also Gardening Saturday at the Tennis Club I help to run. We could look up from our garden chores and watch gigs racing past our club.

While listening to classical guitar, from Walter who had swapped out his secateurs for something more beautiful.

The afternoon was Yardening time. Not by any stretch as exciting or colourful as the morning session. Some white wall painting and repotting of plants. But the entertainment was the same. This time watching the Gig racing on TV as we sought refuge from the sun.

The drone shots showing us what we know already.

That our tiny corner of Devon/Cornwall is rather lovely.

For regular readers and Bobbers, our normal bobbing area was one of the regular spots where race progression was filmed

Tranquility Bay.
Bobbers Steps behind the gigs.

I never managed to catch the tennis club on TV. That would have been a great drone shot especially as the gardens were freshly primped. A project for tomorrow. 

Link to small reel about the races.

https://www.facebook.com/share/v/17goonYrSw/

#1528 theoldmortuary ponders

On By theoldmortuary.designIn YardeningLeave a comment

The Buddha was not in great shape. But if we rely on TK Maxx (TJMaxx in some countries) for providing our garden/yarden statuary then centuries of gently, ageing use, is not an option. Buddha was in a much worse state than the headless, armless,legless woman.

Buddha has a serious insect infestation. Most obvious in the hairline but essentially Buddha is a statue of multiple insect occupancy.

The armless, headless, legless woman really responded to her glow up. Buddha on the other hand took more work and my initial feelings were not as positive. I felt that the old paint and glitter combo made Buddha look a little podgy.

Thankfully it was just the bright sunshine. Returned to the normal position Buddha looked quite perky by the end of the day.

In other news , I used google lens on the headless, armless, legless woman.

She has a name …

Design Toscano Torso of Aphrodite of Melos Venus Statue

Or in fact the Venus de Milo, but without her head. Must be why I didn’t recognise her!

#1525 theoldmortuary ponders

On By theoldmortuary.designIn Serendipity, YardeningLeave a comment

All before and after projects should have before and after photographs.

But we didn’t know we were on any sort of before project until we were more than half way towards the after part.

The Heatwave has waved goodbye, leaving us with entirely normal weather. But our heads did not know the heatwave had departed so we were up at 5:30 am to start the day. So loads of jobs got done in the cool , then the heat didn’t arrive so then more jobs got done.

The Derek Jarman, Prospect  Cottage inspired outdoor loo and yard storage.

The Yolk Yellow door got its door furniture and all the benches got a lick of paint.The patio was scrubbed.

And a very old lady got a paint job.

The headless, legless, armless lady has been with us for many years. She came from TK Maxx (TJ Maxx in some places) For about ten years she remained pristine. But after that she lost her lustre and has required a paint job every few years. She has been blue and gold and versions of her original  stone. Today, because her glow up was unplanned she got some rather old black exterior paint that I enhanced with twinkle graffiti spray paint that I had left over from an art project from quite a few years ago. I think this might be her most magnificent iteration. She looks as if she has been carved from a Bible Black coalface.

If only I had known she was going to get a glow up today I would have taken a before picture.

She was really pretty grotty. Faded and peeling and inhabited by spiders and bugs and all manner of creepy crawlies. She has scrubbed up well!

Although between coats of paint an intrepid spider crawled out from wherever he has been hiding and cast a web between her buttocks. The glitter spray made the whole thing quite gothic for a moment.

Living her best nightlife with fellow survivors and repurposed items, the head injury Buddha and the wonky watering can.

#1518 theoldmortuary ponders

On By theoldmortuary.designIn Serendipity, YardeningLeave a comment

Summer’s here and I have become The Grumpy Urban Cat Abhorring Lady.

Oh how I dislike the urban cat. The Shitter in my plant pots. The Pisser on my garden chairs. The ever present observation from high places. The disupters of my dog. The fragrance of your ever available testosterone- boosted tom cat urine.

Small blog, big feelings.

  • Why do I find urban cats abhorrent? Because we are trying to teach a three year old not to use the word hate. I am  being creative with my use of words.

#1453 theoldmortuary ponders.

On By theoldmortuary.designIn Holidays, Serendipity, Yardening1 Comment

And after the holiday comes the washing pile.

Which I inadvertently added to by having a chocolate croissant dipped in my coffee while writing yesterday’s blog in bed. Coffee and croissant all over me and the bed. If the blog was a paper diary yesterdays page would be the colour of old parchment and the ink would be indistinct. In yesterdays blog I said I shared a birthday with the first use of a lighthouse on the Eddystone Rocks. 14th November 1698. If that were really true I would be writing on old parchment.

Anyway back to the holiday plus washing. Thankfully Stonehouse did not get the memo that the heatwave was over. The yard was still capable of drying washing yesterday long after the sun had set.

There has been only one major yardening crisis whilst we were away. Our lavender tree has curled up his fragrant toes and died, draping himself dramatically over a stoic Olive tree. Jobs for next week I think.

#1404 theoldmortuary ponders.

On By theoldmortuary.designIn weather, YardeningLeave a comment
Drying Washing in the Yard 2025 ©theoldmortuary

We have not yet hit the giddy heights of drying washing in under two hours, as we can easily do in the Summer months. But in just under a week our washing lines have gone from support for our festive winter lights to drying an enormous load in eight hours.

The progress in our yard in one week is madness. We have gone from rain every day since Christmas to no rain for 10 days.

We were definitely late to start yardening jobs this year. 10 days of dry weather has kicked our yardening backsides. There have been some winter casualties, drownings mostly. All consigned to compost over the last weekend. One miraculous recovery.

We have had a Palm tree for about 10 years, he has moved, in a pot, from London to Cornwall and now Devon. 10 years in survival mode, never really thriving but surviving in a pretty lacklustre way. He was planted in a raised bed two or three years ago and just sat there, moodily surviving, not really bothering to make roots or friends with any other nearby plants.

Over the weekend I cleared the debris from an unplanned Pampas Grass . Hiding under the fringes of the Pampas was a glorious and vigorous palm tree. Solidly rooted into the ground and probably a foot taller than when I last saw him. There is no horticulural logic to this. He has been living in a bog for the last 6 months, his only source of nutrients is our dog poo, coffee grounds hygienic/organic dog poo disposal system.

Further tidying up will prepare him, for the first time, for some proud yardening  photos. Not something I ever imagined doing.