Pandemic Pondering #356

When you leave home in sunshine for a swim and by the time you arrive your car looks like this you know its going to be an interesting afternoon.

The hail did stop but the skies were pretty menacing for our swim.

As this blog is published it will be the second Mothers Day in Britain that has gone unmarked by  gatherings because of Pandemic Restrictions. @theoldmortuary will be at the centre of busyness tomorrow. Situated as we are close to two large graveyards. The only mothers who can be safely or legally visited currently are dead ones and only then if their last resting place is local. Last year was markedly busier in the cemetery than usual and I’m sure Mothers Day 2021 will be much the same.

We are really missing family contact. Our nearest and dearest are hundreds or thousands of miles away. Not that we are unique in this matter but it is irksome. Better to be irked than dead of course or grieving for a recent loss.

Two sea swims in 24 hours when it is chilly is exhausting. Our Sunday regime will involve an early rise to avoid people, especially those who are breaking Covid restrictions to meet their mothers! Being irked also brings a side order of  grumpiness with rule breakers!  Gazing at the sea with coffee in hand and not immersing ourselves in it is the plan. Almost certainly , especially if the weather is good we will regret not getting in. Skinny dipping will be considered and rejected immediately, not seriously but wishfully. Dogs will be walked and another morning in Lockdown will be ticked off.

Pandemic Pondering #354

Its been a funny old week. Too much domestic admin has tied me to the house and the weather has been too contrary for us to plan any coastal swims.

As soon had we cancelled this afternoons ‘bob’ the sun came out in a blaze of glory.

What you cant see in this photo is a very chilly wind blowing up the river.

The local RNLI have been suggesting all week that sea swimming should be a wisely considered option considering weather and tides on a daily basis.

We also follow a local swimming group for advice on safety.

Link above is to a video taken at our swimming beach at the time we were planning to swim.

Im glad we made the call not to swim today.

The dogs benefitted from a very sunny walk . There is always tomorrow for a swim.

Pandemic Pondering #352

Doubly confined to the house for a couple of days has limited my horizons somewhat. I’ve had to wait in for various Domestic Admin tasks to be fulfilled
The irony is that the past two days have been gloriously bright and dry and now there is a hideous storm. Today may not be any more exciting.

Time at home gave me the chance to watch the Oprah Winfrey interview with the Duke and Duchess of Sussex. Shining an uncomfortable light on racism it was a skilfully directed conversation in the hands of Oprah. The fallout may take some time to reveal itself within the public domain.

Beyond that the day was just filled with routine chores , short dog walks and a lot of reading.

One of my dog walks provided the grim photograph of the day.

A very short walk from home takes me to a nature reserve.

The lane to this view passes through a small collection of houses and then two large graveyards. It is a walker and dog walkers paradise. I probably walk the lane at least twice a day, the dogs like to snuffle. Yesterdays snuffle revealed a stretch of disgusting littering. Someone has either emptied their car of cigarette butts or a group of individuals think a tiny stretch of this lane is their personal ash tray.

This stinking pile of cigarette detritus took me less than five minutes to sweep up. Words fail me!

Pandemic Pondering #351

Another great ‘ Bobbing’ session and time to share another vegetable carving story.

A different bobber did something saintly last week and was rewarded with a carved parsnip digit hidden in the wall near our swimming beach. The carrot finger of the previous week had been nearly nibbled away by local wildlife.

But two days after delivery to the reliquary the Parsnip thumb is looking remarkably fresh.

Obviously in normal times this would all seem a little mad, and of course it is. But in a pandemic lockdown a little vegetable humour can go a long way. Cold water swimming is not only good for the swimmers . It also gives the walkers nearby something to enjoy watching and talking about. Every time we go out for a swim we also get to talk to complete strangers , some who also swim and others who think we are as Mad as March Hares for doing so. It is an absolute bonus to stand in the sunshine, in this third lockdown and talk about whatever comes to mind with whoever is around, all at a safe distance of course.

A Mad March Hare

Pandemic Pondering #350

What do you do in a lockdown during the tail end of a British winter when the sun is out but the temperature is -2?

A sunrise Mediterranean breakfast on a deserted beach, obviously!!

Meanwhile the plants not in the sunshine reflected true life.

But the fantasy still beckons.

Spanokopita, Pain au Chocolate and Coffee were transported to the beach for authenticity.

Where we found relics , just as we would on beaches far away.

But the huge bonus of being on a beach much closer to home was sharing it with fluffs.

Lola
Hugo
Stanley

And for once we didn’t have to submerge ourselves in sea that is nothing like the Mediterranean.

Pandemic Pondering #348

©Tony Batty

Saturday sunshine…

Actually it was Friday sun and the image has been manipulated to make everything a bit more golden. Dreamlike perhaps.

There is a reason for this. Todays blog is about dreamscapes. I’ve noticed over the last week or so that my dreams that are close to reality have started to take place in pandemic world. Nothing dramatic, not nightmares. There are times when my dreams are so dull and humdrum waking up is a relief. It is these non interesting dreams that have shifted into Pandemic World. I’m not really sure why I’ve shared this, but as an observation of the progress of the pandemic I suppose it has some value.

Waking up today was a tiny shock to the system. We planned an early morning swim. Ooh it was chilly.

Have a wonderful weekend.

Pandemic Pondering #345

It may be somewhat late into our International pastime of Lockdowns to give you a new hobby for your daily exercise. But better late than never, I can give you a new micro  hobby of looking for Urine deflectors on buildings during your permitted exercise. Once you know the function of a urine deflector they are easy to spot out in the open . Positioned to discourage multiple men from urinating, repeatedly, in the same outdoor location they are designed to return the flow of amber fluid squarely back onto the urinating chaps own feet. I’m sure all cultures have them. Urine deflectors are built onto historic buildings and contemporary ones. Technology might just be removing the need for this almost annonymous feature. A specialist paint or coating has been developed that bounces wee off perpendicular surfaces. I know this not because I have an unnatural interest but because my flat in London was located on a small unlit lane very close to a railway station and  @theoldmortuary is opposite a pub ! In either location I have shouted, used a hose and chased the pisser off on those rare occasions when I have caught them in the act. They are rarely apologetic and mostly indignant. Paint would be the answer in both cases , an architectural feature not really possible.

This urine deflector is on the corner of an old pub called The Butchers Arms. Now known as The Hutong Cafe in Stonehouse Plymouth.

The one below is outside the Bank of England.

Link to article below.

https://londonist.com/london/secret/urine-deflectors

Old pubs and public buildings are great locations to find them. We have a big one in Saltash, positioned between an old pub wall and one of the supporting brick legs of I.K. Brunels Royal Albert Rail Bridge that spans the Tamar River.

Mighty Engineering
Practical Engineering.

Happy hunting!

As soon as there is good light there will be a PS ( how appropriate!) to this blog …

P.S. Last night I noticed these 3 additions to the bottom of our church tower. Are they Urine deflectors? These slopes are only added to one side of the church tower base. Historically this church had its own brewery and Public House. This side of the tower would have been on the way home to the town from the pub.

Pandemic Pondering #344

Bobbing, exercise and safety but so much more.

Bobbers the Whatsapp group was formed to give a group of friends some safety in their first year of year -round sea swimming. No one ever swims alone and we nearly always have an on-land observer who keeps an eye on the ‘ bobbers’ who have decided a time to swim together. Some of us have known each other more than thirty years, some others just a few months and today a new bobber joined us.

The safety aspect was underlined today when we heard of the sad death, yesterday, of a fellow open water swimmer, in the next bay to our own.

Bobbing has given us all a fresh new friendship group and the topics of conversation post swim are wide ranging.

The startled look on my face on the header image is the effect of two bobbing sessions.

Yesterday  Bobbers hit the beach early to avoid too many people. Overnight the beach had been used for outdoor drinking and it was a dreadful mess. One organised ‘ Bobber’ cleared all the rubbish from the beach and stacked it by the rubbish bins. 

On the way back to the cars the same bobber saved a dogs life as she swooped him out from under the wheels of a car as he ran away from his owner. She was declared a Saint for the day. Witty chat suggested that we break off her fingers in order to have a valuable saintly relic.

This morning she arrived with a gift.

We swim very close to a convent , it took very little effort to store the finger within its own protected reliquary within the convent wall.

But as things do, in post swimming conversations, one thing led to another and the finger found an amazing spiders trap.

Which pretty much demonstrates a post bobbing conversation. Loudly covering a million topics and sometimes getting lost down a complex and convoluted hole.

Pandemic Pondering #341

©Plymouth Open Water Swimmers

Yesterdays ‘ Bob’ events happened either end of the day. Mr Stan was off to the groomers so his swimming parents had to swim early in the morning.

Mr Stan, part of the Peverell Posse

The day started well for them.

©Tony Batty

The later swimmers took the sunset slot.

The evening swim was epic.

©Andy Cole

But unknown to us , something was afoot.

©Andy Cole

David Partner, a world renowned photographer was collecting images for a project he is working on. Here we are swimming off, oblivious to man in small speedos. Also oblivious to man with large Hasellblad. Just oblivious really!

On returning to land David Partner asked our permission to take photographs of us for his project. Obviously we stripped off to reveal our gorgeously honed bodies and our thong bikinis. Just a slick of lippy and we were camera ready. You will be relieved to know the last two sentences are pure fabrication.

Just a regular ‘ bob’ at Firestone Bay.

Links to David Partner and Plymouth Open Water Swimming below.

https://www.davidpartner.co.uk/headsofgovernment

https://www.facebook.com/groups/214153495854310/?ref=share

Pandemic Pondering #337

Nearly There Trees

The Nearly There Trees get a second outing this month simply because ‘Nearly There’ is my bonus point on my game of Boris Bingo . A game played by matching words used by the Prime Minister during a press conference.

As it happens ‘ Nearly There’ didnt come up! I don’t have a painting called ‘Some Way to go still’ Not as prepared as I thought I was!

By contrast our sea swim was a huge success . Blue, twinkly with plenty of sunshine.

© Debs Bobber

We had a fabulous half hour in the water and the sunshine on our faces was a massive boost.

© Andy Cole

Our Vitamin D harvest took very little effort today. The water was still a bit grubby from the weekend storms but calm enough that we were joined by paddle boarders and Kayakers.

Not too bad for the middle of February.

P.S my failure at Boris Bingo can probably be explained by the Prime Minister taking on a new team of advisers. I had planned for the Cockwaffle Protocol. I was not prepared for the change!