Before deciding to use this prompt I read a few other blogs that had also chosen to go with this particular flow. Wisdom, Sex, God(s) and Acceptance all get a good going over by bloggers with mixed results, in my opinion.

I have no such certainty, in the few hours I have pondered this thought I have been going round in so many ponderous mental circles that I feel even more uncertain as to my definitive answer.

Right now at 08:13 I have settled on being both less conscious and more conscious of being my genuine self. Society moulds us in many ways. Always an introvert I have moved through life being self-effacing* hiding behind so many self-created masks.

* Someone who’s self-effacing is shy and likes to stay out of the spotlight, shunning attention and praise. To efface something is to erase it, so to be self-effacing is to try to remove yourself from various situations, especially ones that draw attention.

David Bowie with his multiple stage personnas or Drag Queens seem to me to have the perfect way of being.

A lovely, big, public personality that can take praise and adoration easily and humbly. A personality that can be slipped off at the end of the show, leaving the real person to slip out of the stage door anonymously without the need for dark glasses and an upturned collar.

Much as I would have liked to go through life in the style of Ziggy Stardust or Lily Savage that was never appropriate. So my characters looked exactly like me but with more Chutzpah*

*The positive aspect of chutzpah, which is more likely to lead to positive outcomes, revolves primarily around being confident, daring, and brazen.

I realise now, with age that self-effacing is a fairly daft way to go about life. But even as I write this I realise that being a brash ‘ out-there’ person was an impossible lifestyle choice for me. I so dislike the aura around Alpha Humans.

What has got better with age is knowing my own worth and finding somewhere in the middle ground. Not so self-effacing, more sequins and twinkle.

Less Dandelion; more Firework, occasionally!

Using a prompt today, not because I was lost for a subject to ponder, but more because there is always something to ponder.

I’ve always been a ponderer and on the whole pondering is a private occupation, unless a daily blog is written. So with some self judgement I would say that I am a particularly avid and accomplished ponderer. Being good at something carries responsibilities, I have been accused of having too vivid an imagination or being lost in my own world. Well I adore vivid, that’s why some of my images are over-saturated and trust me,I have never been lost in my own world. I know exactly where I am.

So after all that self-justification here is todays ponder which is a little late and ludicrously vivid.

A chance encounter with a patient took us to Buckfast Abbey early this morning.

It was the most peaceful spot for an early morning dog walk with friends.

So peaceful that, beyond the vivid stained glass,I forgot to take photos.

The whole place is rather overwhelming and the Stained Glass is certainly a show stopper.

But coupled with an organ recital of some contemporary music the whole experience was quite other worldly.

Which I suppose is the point of an Abbey.