Picking one family member would be too tricky in a very small family. These 3 brightly coloured autumn leaves, resting on brown mushy ones, almost exactly represent my actual knowledge and ability to describe family members. The top-of-the-pile green and red autumn leaf represents the two genetic family members that I know best, my children. Whom I would only ever describe in the broadest of brush strokes,simply to save myself from being an embarrassing mother.They are both fabulous individuals who are making their way in the world as reliable and kind individuals. And have in turn created my grandchildren who already know me better than I ever knew my own grandparents.

I am the leaf in the middle in shades of yellow and orange and am not about to describe myself.

My parents are represented by the bottom of the pile leaf in shades of black and red. I probably knew my parents better than most people do, as I occupied their world as an only child, in a way that siblings would never do. My parents were hard working aspirational, working class people. During my childhood they floated into the middle class by becoming professional people, I don’t think they ever noticed or were bothered by such things. I took a powerful work ethic from my dad who would relax after his salaried work  by being a perfectionist D.I.Y er and carpenter. My mother worked as an administrator and occupied her spare time working voluntarily in our community. I have always been quite community minded.They were both talented creative people who really didn’t give enough time to follow their creative dreams. I suppose it is my similarity to them that makes me aware of just how well I did know them. But writing about either one to the exclusion of the other would make me rather sad.

Beyond them is the mush of brown autumn leaves. I did not know either set of grandparents well. My mum’s parents were running small businesses and my dads parents were remote. I was the only grandchild in their lifetime. Neither side were hugging type grandparents, or involved in playing or adventures. We just seemed to exist, occasionally, on the same orbit and as long as I was good and quiet with my head in a book then all was well. This is not the way of contemporary families, but although this description of a small family may seem joyless  there is much to be thankful for in a family that knew the value of hard work and were reliable, law abiding citizens. I am disappointed in myself that I was not interested enough as a young person to know any of my grandparents well enough to describe  even one of them  successfully .But I am not sure they were all that interested in me either.

So I have described a group of people who were my small family. Nothing flashy, nothing bad. Secure and loving in their own ways and an excellent foundation for whatever I have made of my own life.