Tag: Ranting

#1384 theoldmortuary ponders

On By theoldmortuary.designIn 2026, Easter, SerendipityLeave a comment
Natural tulips  never hit a bum note.

Yesterday’s blog featuring a rant about plastic flowers, touched quite an International jangled nerve.

#1383 theoldmortuary ponders

So much tied up in overthinking for those of us who really dislike plastic flowers.

” Am I being snobby”

” They are the things of horrific thoughts”

” If they were put on my grave I would be turning in it for eternity”

I can only really take a deep dive into my own thoughts.

I am almost certainly judgemental and snobby about plastic flowers. While absolutely accepting that in some circumstances artificial plants have their place.

Instagram is responsible for a lot of grim plastic fakery.

My response to plastic flowers is somewhat physical . Seeing them, particularly, if they are faded or dusty gives me the shivers. In the same way chalk squeaked on a blackboard used to.

Love is a beautiful pebble.Dappled with shade.

Putting them on graves seems more disrespectful than nothing at all. A simple beautiful pebble* shows so much more thought.

Natural flowers are not a prickly subject.
  • And just like that another rant is born.  Whoever decided that painting pebbles with Acrylic paint was a sustainable and environmentally acceptable art form, especially for children. Adults should know better. Acrylic paint is plastic, yes it will wear off over time. But that paint has to go somewhere as a microplastic.
Pebble ‘painted’ by dappled shade.

Ranting over, I hope. Although that depends on how many more plastic flower haters there are out there this Easter, or indeed those who loathe a painted pebble.

Happy Easter

Chocolate eggs on the other hand are an entirely acceptable form of fakery. I am both snobby and shallow.

At long last I am active on Substack.

Link below.https://substack.com/profile/181071656-theoldmortuary-ponders/note/c-238477304?r=2zszs8

#1383 theoldmortuary ponders

On By theoldmortuary.designIn Easter, Serendipity1 Comment
Tranquility Bay on Good Friday.

As long as I can remember I have been fascinated by religious buildings and religious art. Never really the subject matter but the endeavour and embellishment. The colour palates and at times the curious juxtapositions of immense wealth and poverty just inches apart*. Our Easter Bob at Tranquility Bay was blessed by the greigiest day you could imagine.

Bobbers Bobbing on Good Friday

The conversation though was as colourful and wide ranging as ever. Dog harnesses to Kylie Minogues Nipple covers were touched on in some depth whilst clothes were fumbled on and hot drinks revived chilly women.

The day was certainly greige but the bobbing occasion was not so I borrowed the colours and drama of classical religious paintings to illustrate Tranquility Bay at Easter.

I used a variety of image manipulation Apps and a little bit of analogue Medical Imaging know-how to create our little swimming bay in Easter Colours,when in real life she was in a proper greige sulk.

A line of bobbers stretched out from shore to buoy.

Beyond this point is a rant, please feel free to leave the blog early if a rant might offend.

  • Plastic flowers in churches or indeed on graves are the Devils work. Especially the unnatural colour ones that always fade to a murky mauve colour and attract grubby dust. Nobody ever needs to be remembered by a plastic flower.

There is a point to my plastic flower rant and Tranquility Bay.

Lots of people have their ashes scattered here. Lots of friends and family like to overlook the bay, some like to toss flowers in the water all lovely things to do. But sometimes the Devil does his work in the hands of the foolish. Tossing plastic flowers in the sea is about as stupid as it gets.

Blogging and pondering with the occasional rant are deeply satisfying when I am forced to research. Today I learned the delightful phrase  ‘aesthetic lifespan’. Possibly the only joy a plastic flower has ever bought me.

I cannot wait to use that one in conversation…

My apologies, the inner bitch was out and proud this morning.

The Passion for Tranquility Bay

Pandemic Pondering #170

On By theoldmortuary.designIn Rant2 Comments

The Pandemic conundrum that is spitting. @theoldmortuary is opposite a pub, a normal sort of pub , regular clients, occasional live music which attracts non regulars and the passing trade of Church attenders for weddings, funerals and baptisms. A pub that causes no antisocial behaviour of note within the community. However some men attending the pub seem to think it is perfectly acceptable to spit either on the way in or on the way out . This was pretty dire before Covid-19 landed on our shores but now it just seems like the purpetrators of the spit somehow don’t grasp the increased significance of their vulgarity.

I’ve Googled ,so you don’t have to, Deep Throat Saliva still shows traces of active virus after 20 days in laboratory conditions. Obviously our local tarmac is somewhat more rugged than a laboratory but then to be fair some of the Saliva we get deposited locally comes from way further than deep throat. It wouldn’t surprise me to find portions of lung outside the pub or on the approaching pavements. Others chaps hawking echoes around their sinuses as they search for mucous and slime to deposit rancidly in the local landscape.

Rural Cornwall does not suffer in quite the same way as places with bigger concentrations of population or indeed China and other parts of Asia. But surely we should have Zero Tolerance to this filthy habit particularly during the Pandemic.

Rant over…

Illustrations from the archive of droplets of a nicer sort.