Tag: Betwixtmas

#1376 theoldmortuary ponders

On By theoldmortuary.designIn FamilyLeave a comment

Twas the first day of Twixtmas. Or Boxing Day for some of us.

The giddy excess of Christmas Day is over and we have 6 days left of the old year. 6 days of exploring new books, toiletries, candles, maybe some early clearing out. 6 days of nibbling in the foothills of the festive food mountain. 6 days to savour the gift that is a loving family. Fascinating friends and a  solid house to call home. 6 days of pondering Christmas Pasts.

For no particular reason I spent some time pondering Brian Bilston’s poem.

Two reasons. I am a woman of simple needs at Christmas, and indeed life. Family, friends, some travel , some kindness, health and happiness. Positivity where possible. Yes there are dark moments but valuing and storing the good vibes helps out in the  more uncomfortable and distressing moments of life.

For many years I shared Christmas with a woman who,  valued and relished negativity.  She views life and other people with the sharp acidity of lemon juice on a mouth ulcer

Christmas always demonstrated the chasm between our outlooks.  How would she use Brian’s Poem as inspiration for her Christmas  experience and how would I. Who knows?

To be clear she was as happy in her negative world as I am elsewhere and as generous as any other person in the festive season. Different viewpoints can be interesting and enlightening. Also infuriating.

The Christmas things we have opposing views on in no particular order are

Shortbread biscuits.

Why would anyone give shortbread biscuits at Christmas? Her

The year I gave her a big box and I received a smaller one.

A golden buttery treat to see me through the winter months. Me

Candles.

What would anyone buy me a candle for, I have lovely bright electricity.

The more the merrier. Me

Photographs of children

The non- genetic are more highly prized. Her

Twenty of the same three children, fabulous. Me

Not sure I get that, but each to their own, or not.

I could go on but that would be missing the point. How have these two very different women existed in close familial contact for more than 40 years.

Compromise in the public domain.

Respect and understanding of different life experiences.

An awareness that one of the greatest gifts of Christmas is the confidential invisibility of ‘ Thought Bubbles’

Honestly, without invisible ‘Thought Bubbles’ we would not have made it past the first Christmas.

A quarter of her is in the children that I adore and an eighth in the grandchildren who are loved and cherished. I would not have them different in any way. Maybe her gift of negativity is useful and strengthening for them with their abundance of positivity from all their other gene pools.

So to Brian’s poem of collective nouns I would add.

A Compromise of Christmases.

More valuable in so many different ways.

Family. Just a collection of mis matched baubles.

#1154 theoldmortuary ponders

On By theoldmortuary.designIn pondering1 Comment

If we are lucky twixtmas is a lull with a little more thinking time than the hurly burly of Christmas and the optimism or trepidation of moving gently into a new numerical year. Perhaps a time to appraise relationships both past and present. My blog hosts posed this question overnight. As we gather people close to us this is a hugely significant question.

What relationships have a positive impact on you?

I would say there are  three quality stages of relationships.

  1. Close / Loving.
  2. Intermediate with affection, respect or a combination of the two.
  3. Fleeting.

Of the three I would say only the last can be purely positive, or indeed purely negative.

All other relationships are a balance of  positive and negative impacts. Hugely positive relationships come with some inevitable negatives when people close to you break your heart in some way, not always intentionally. Intermediate relationships can be surprisingly lovely with less impactful negatives.Fleeting relationships  can be amazingly positive, the negative aspects more easily brushed off. 

Some relationships are negative all the way but circumstances force you to carry them around like a piece of pointless heavy luggage.

Twixtmas is a time to reflect on the texture of our relationships. Some regrets but a good balance of loveliness would seem to me to be the optimum choice for a positive impact. We all have to take the rough with the smooth to a certain degree because nobody is perfect or right for us all the time. Or us for them.

Sometimes dumping the pointless heavy luggage is just the absolute right decision and brings the joy of a negative action creating a positive outcome. Not always easy to do.

That is a good old waffle as I stare into the Christmas tree but the festive season often makes us confront some difficult thoughts alongside all the lovely positive ones, about people we share or have shared Christmas/ Life with. The luxury of the time to be able to consider relationships past and present, close or fleeting has a positive impact in itself.

P.s this blog was not written to be downbeat or forlorn. I may have struck a wrong note. I was simply observing that even the most lovely experience will have a piquancy of sadness if you are fully invested. When it ends for instance. And when a dreadful experience stops there is an uptick because the dreadful is gone.

#1151 theoldmortuary ponders.

On By theoldmortuary.designIn Serendipity, Traditions2 Comments

Twixtmas, a magical week of slight discombobulation when no day is quite as it should be and the question on most peoples tongues is.

“What day is it actually today”

You get to build your perfect space for reading and writing. What’s it like?

With that in mind my perfect space for reading and writing is any space I find myself in. I just allow myself to dwell there a little longer during Twixtmas. I like Twixtmas with the extra ‘T’ after the X it gives the word a little more gravitas.

A vital time to recharge our winter batteries before 2025 gallops into view. Not that Christmas 2024 has left me depleted in any way. But Twixtmas is definitely a time to indulge whims and ponders.

The digital age has altered everything about reading and writing at home.

This box bureau in a 1960’s Ladderax unit holds everything I need  for actually writing  and my laptop for the digital stuff.

Rather trendily I perch on the sofa arm to replicate a standing desk.

But this blog, almost exclusively goes out from my smartphone. That makes my reading and writing space anywhere I choose it to be or where I find myself. Perfect in my opinion. I rarely have exclusive use, wherever I am and that suits me just fine.

Advent#30

On By theoldmortuary.designIn Family

Betwixtmas

The shapeshifting days of the festive season when some normality returns, a return to work perhaps or family members returning to their own homes. There is some normalcy but it’s still hard to actually name the day easily or give up on the notion that grazing is regular behaviour.

As a family we have a birthday within the Yuletide. So one day of Betwixtmas is always designated as a birthday gathering for all the available extended family. Including Hugo and Lola. The cast and destination change from year to year but it is always a little oasis of birthday bliss amongst the glitter and twink of the festive season.

Malpas was our destination of choice today. A river village not far from Truro.

52013295-0BD1-40CB-B605-ED08D88E6D88.jpeg

Malpas was new to most of us and we had a beautiful walk before we had lunch. It was a grey old day and all my photos were a bit ‘meh’ which is not a good look and somewhat dull for a blog.
We had a late, non festive lunch at the Heron Inn, the food was wonderful. The company was as familiar and convivial as usual, with an age range of 1 to 89, everyone left Malpas happy.

11D0743F-75F5-47BC-901F-6644F1111B11
http://www.heroninnmalpas.co.uk/

Even on a grey day Malpas was a picturesque spot. Just not so great for blogging photography

And so, back to Betwixtmas after a birthday interlude.

Tomorrow (Monday) sees another incremental edge on the normality scale. Tuesday the normality reading hits a plateau until 5pm when festive recidivism plunges everyone feet first into New Year’s Eve. Regardless of your view on New Years Eve it forces you to actively do something . Either to mark it in a positive way by staying up past midnight or to deliberately snub it by going to bed and ‘ missing all the fuss’

Before that though we have two more days of Betwixtmas to fill.

©theoldmortuary.design