Category: Family

#269 theoldmortuary ponders

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Yesterday was a fine observation of how Covid has altered life. @theoldmortuary used to row gigs out of Cawsand, this coastal village  Until yesterday we had not been there for nearly three years but in the past we knew these waters very well. For the first time ever we arrived by ferry.

The plan was to spend about three hours on the beach doing the things that 3 year olds love. In reality so much more was achieved as Kayaks could be rented, and fabulous milk shakes ordered.

And the sea was warm enough for everyone to swim as much as they wanted. We are nearly at the end of our week of intense family time. It has been such a blast of fun and exploration but also a big lesson in how beautiful our surroundings are and how accessible everything is. Looking at life through the eyes of a child really is an education and a wake up call to enjoy the moment. After a day at the beach we went on a camping adventure. High up on a Devon hillside we looked west towards Cornwall and in particular at Cawsand where we had spent the day.

Camping for a three year old is very exciting and almost derailed the beach outing because of the levels of excitement the appearance of a small person  sleeping bag created. Lessons to be learned, do not reveal the trump card of the day until all other activities have been exhausted. We even practiced camping in a supermarket car park while provisions were purchased.

Driving skills were practiced.

But the ultimate goal was always the sleeping bag.

Not necessarily sleeping though!

#268 theoldmortuary ponders

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Circles of Life.The patterns of a poppy, jelly fish and chandelier are very similar looking images of this weeks blogs. Life doing circles is sometimes more obvious than others. Curiously in the week when my two grown up children have returned, temporarily, to the nest. I have witnessed real birds sitting in nests. Something I have never, knowingly, been close to before.

These three little birds were perched in a nest near a footpath down to the beach at Tregantle. Desperately squeaking for a supper of fresh worm.

Having braved the hurley burley of Padstow on a busy sunny day we managed to escape the crowds by finding a first floor restaurant.

We were not the only ones to have a birds eye view of the crowds while sitting in a calm contemplative space. A pigeon had found herself a snug spot just a few steps from fine dining and a well stocked bar. The chandelier in the top picture would give her light too when daylight faded.

All too soon, of course, these nests, as will mine, will be empty again. The circle of life bringing tristesse after joy as certainly as night follows day. Possibly a glum way to end a blog without reminding ourselves that it is a circle of life and that joy , perhaps yet unimagined, will also follow hard on the heels of tristesse.

#267 theoldmortuary ponders

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You almost never know when is the last time you will do something. Visiting Whitsand Bay in South East Cornwall is a case in point for us. A spectacular 8 km sandy beach about half an hour from home. To visit takes a fairly determined beach goer as access is down a steep path but the rewards certainly outweigh the 10 minute descent. I suspect life got in the way of our family visits. There was a period of life when I had two children under 7 and two terminally ill parents who lived 300 miles away.

Quite why I allowed life to stop us visiting I don’t know. Life pressures and commitments have a way of limiting freedom and choice, almost imperceptibly but, brutally. So 30 years have passed and the small children who last struggled down the hill with me have children of their own.

This is not the sort of place to ignore for 30 years and a beach this beautiful that allows dogs year round should have been back on my radar as soon as we got Hugo 10 years ago.

Better late than never, life is too short to let a place like this slip through my fingers again.

#266 theoldmortuary ponders

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Building family memories at the Lost Gardens of Heligan did not disappoint.

Advert in Devonport

Even getting there lived up to the name. Despite visiting many times we talked so much we missed the turning and ended up in Mevagissy. No bad place to end up but not the destination of our actual day.  A family reunited after the Covid years is an overwhelming experience but Heligan gave us the time and place to wander and talk and reconnect in groups of one or two or even as one big pack. Under the watchful gaze of non human, plant sculptures.

Or even a traditional scarecrow keeping birds off flowers and observing us under his watchful button eye gaze.

https://www.heligan.com

Brave things were done by me, a person whose life -long anticipatory vertigo is something to be lived with but not life limiting. Feel the fear and do it anyway.

Just doing really normal things with people that you love is just so pleasurable after two years isolated from one another. One lesson I have learned is just to keep pushing forward. Not always on a rope bridge, for sure,but looking forward rather than back is a strategy that works for all aspects of life as well as rope bridges.

#265 theoldmortuary ponders

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The sun setting on the first of our family days . More than 15,000 steps walked by 5 adults, 2 dogs and one small person. Fabulous to have a day out that just used a quick ferry ride. When we lived in Cornwall, Mount Edgecumbe was a 30 minute car journey. I used to marvel at the families from Plymouth that just casually caught the ferry over for a picnic. Yesterday we did exactly that. Packed up food in our rucksacks and set off on the Cremyll ferry from Admirals Hard to Mount Edgecumbe.

A ferry has crossed this stretch of the Hamoaze since 1204, or 7:15 in the morning depending on your time frame.

In true picnic style ours was eaten fairly soon after arrival and desert was an ice cream from the fabulous Orangery.

15,000 steps was a lot for everyone in the gorgeous weather of yesterday. On our return we all eased our bones and feet with a swim in the sea and our minds with bedtime stories and boardgames.

A day in mid July that felt a lot like Christmas in so many ways.

#264 theoldmortuary ponders

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Rather an appropriate quotation for a day with a late blog. A busy day in beautiful weather but very much a day for making the most of the moment and having our family around us.

©Jenny Tsang

Plymouth was beautiful but we turned our back on Plymouth and headed to Cornwall on the ferry. Not exactly the gateway to Cornwall but certainly an interesting portal to a different world.

Castles and canons were the perfect props for a small girl obsessed by Pirates.

Then a cruise past our usual dog walks.

And then time to set foot back in Plymouth.

#244 theoldmortuary ponders

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Sunshine and showers was the weather serving for this weekend. Not exactly bittersweet but certainly two sides of the same coin.

Much like Fathers Day, which was for many, the focus point of the weekend. As an outside observer to many traditional family gatherings I wonder if living through a pandemic has sharpened the focus on marking significant days with family and friends. There seems to be less marketing of these events and more gathering together, less gifts more visits. We had a lovely family visit, despite not being able to offer the inducements of any fathers or grandfathers. Just a father on the horizon and an actual one,for one of our number, across the river in Cornwall. Enough to make the weekend have a little buzz of purpose. Three of us, unable to visit father’s in the other realm or in another country had an unhurried afternoon of wandering around the shops with no great schedule or aim in place. Possibly many people’s idea of hell, but for us, something to be enjoyed, not so much because we were shopping but because sometimes it is really comforting just to hang out together doing something mundane and nattering about it. Most unusually we were on the search for some fast fashion. Not something I really approve of but its hard not to get caught up in the constant fiesta of fashion fun that stores like Primark, New Look and H and M create. I did also break my own rules of reuse, repurpose or recycle and bought myself a fabulous string shopping bag in bright orange.

Social Media plays a huge part in the celebration of Fathers Day. Through it I get a sense of community with those of us without fathers or grandfathers to celebrate in person for whatever reason. It certainly helps to be aware of the many others there are, who are feeling a twinge, or more, of sadness on such days. The enormous positive of Fathers Day on Social Media is that people actively introduce you to their fathers or father figures on line. So Facebook and Instagram feeds are full of truly wonderful role models, representing many generations of paternalistic love.

After 36 hours of delicious busyness we were back down to just the two of us and two dogs. The weather had taken a turn for the worse but our evening walk was enlivened by stone skimming and stone hunting something both humans and dogs take very seriously. All good prep for the week ahead.

#227 theoldmortuary ponders

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Welcome to the Thursday that thinks it is Saturday. The Queen has been on the throne for seventy years, so in Britain we have a four day weekend with today, Thursday,being the first of the days off.

The Queen as Ziggy Stardust, both great British institutions.

My head has been incapable of adjusting to a Thursday Bank Holiday.I can’t help but be puzzled that this is not Saturday. Our usually quiet week day walk was enlivened by huge numbers of tourists. The dogs took their time reading all the pee mails that the unknown holidaying dogs have left, almost making us late for our usual, free, two hour parking spot. A big celebration in London with us not visiting is unheard of, but we never considered going this time. We no longer have our own Welsh Guardsman performing for Her Majesty.

Not because we have lost him, but because he has retired his Bearskin. To be fair his instrument of choice made him one of the men in the back row so we have spent many events of great national significance waiting for a glimpse of his bottom.

We often got front row seats, again really very lucky. On one occasion the seats were so special we had a slightly awkward sartorial moment. We had taken some South African friends, with us, who were dressed amazingly, I suppose we were dressed well enough for normal but as it turned out our tickets were anything but normal. London, on these occasions, is also far from normal so when our tickets, being checked at pinch points, sent us nearer and nearer to Downing Street we were not particularly perturbed. Alarm bells were slightly raised by the fashion and style of all the other people who were being gently directed with us. If we were dressed to an OK standard the others in the queue clearly had a different dress code. Men in Morning Dress ( three piece suits with tails) women in fabulous outfits with high heels and hats of the most fabulous sort. What sealed the deal for the strangeness of our ticket allocation, was the last part of our journey which was through the gardens of Number 10 Downing Street. The home and Office of the British Prime minister. We had randomly been given tickets on the same stand as International Diplomats. We diplomatically stuck close to our South African friends, who looked more dressed for the  occasion than we did. We took our places in the stand and had fabulous views. No one noticed us at all,  apart from those moments when our friends caught a glimpse of a black Welsh Guards musician and ululated with joy. Having done it once, those diplomats and their families, who could ululate, joined in on on every subsequent occasion. I suspect that is not the normal behaviour from the Diplomats stand, but it made the days events joyful and memorable.

Thursday as the new Saturday, a Platinum Jubilee is unlikely ever to happen again. My confusion is unlikely to be repeated. Probably just as well!

#159 theoldmortuary ponders

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Mothers day weekend passed in glorious sunshine. There was an arrival of flowers and the promise of some books but no actual face to face mothering to be done. Our own mothers are long dead and beloved human children were busy elsewhere. So with a bit of magical realism in mind, we took ourselves and them off to a place we have all loved, and did some reminiscing.

We love Fowey so much we held our short notice wedding there.

When I first moved to Cornwall my parents were both unknowingly pretty poorly with terminal illnesses. It would have been easier to fall in love with any number of the beautiful locations surrounding us, especially ones with sensible Victorian promenades, so much easier to push a wheelchair and manage two small children. But as we all know no-one chooses who they fall in love with, the same is true of choosing favourite towns to visit.

Briefly empty, the streets of Fowey demonstrate the challenges I faced.

Building muscle and precious memories over the five years of their illnesses Fowey was always the go-to destination even when it took very precise planning to make a visit happen.

Despite being born in Hong Kong, Hannah has lived a big chunk of her life living near to Fowey and regularly rowed in the annual regatta. Her mum loved an excuse to visit the shops of Fowey, there was never a visit that didn’t produce an essential purchase.

So we have individual memories and blended memories, all of which make for a good day out. Never let it be said that you can’t join in with Mothers Day just because there is no actual mothering to be done.

We were up and out early which gave us the advantage of empty streets. The weather was beautiful and gave us sharply contrasting stolen views.

We hadn’t made a lunchtime reservation and were disappointed that our favourite cafe, Pinky Murphys was closed.

http://pinkymurphys.co.uk/

But that turned out to be an absolute bonus as we eventually got a perfect balcony table at a cafe bar that is one we have been to with all of our family over the many years of loving Fowey. Over 30+ years the bar has had many names and styles of food. But physically it remains pretty much the same

https://bufalafowey.co.uk/

The views are always amazing, the sunshine was out and we did not miss the current offering of “unmissable’ Tiramisu. Every family member got a good share of the conversation between mouthfulls of pizza and good red wine.

How do you finish such a perfectly unplanned and serendipitous day?

A trip to the car wash. It turns out that the seagulls of Fowey recognised us as regular visitors and dropped off their loyalty cards without us even asking!

#68 theoldmortuary ponders

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Advent and the run up to Christmas is not all about the ‘front-of-house’ stuff. Some prep is definitely more mundane. A new loo seat and a consignment of loo rolls were part of this week’s plans.

As it turns out some nice soft tissue was exactly what we needed. Christmas is bittersweet for many people. There is the excitement of gathering with family and friends tinged with sadness remembering the people it is no longer possible to mingle with on the earthly realm. With this in mind we took ourselves off to see the Stephen Spielberg, West Side Story.

Having both grown up with this vinyl recording of the soundtrack in our homes, we thought it was a good way to remember our mums. Obviously @theoldmortuary blog is not normally a film reviewing blog.

We loved it, a fabulous way to spend three hours in a reclining seat. Spoiler alert. You may need tissues.