Of all the pleasures of a self-directed semi-retirement the joy of not suffering the futility of annual appraisement interviews ranks quite highly. In fact never having to engage in the whole silly game of being appraised with questions like the one below, simply to tick a box, is fabulous.

The tool of appraisal, feedback and goal setting in the right hands and minds should be a positive interaction in the workplace. If only such things could be honest, organic conversations. Hopes and ambitions  shared in either direction shared with no judgement with the aim of increasing well being and contentment.

We all lie because honest uncertainty never ticks the box.

The joy of being human is that none of us can predict what our lives will be like in three minutes time let alone 3 years.

On Saturday whilst doing a very regular car journey, and while stopped by a red traffic light, a boy racer lost control of his car and skidded backwards towards me. His car stopped 3 yards from mine and he sped off. Nothing happened. In the 3 seconds or so when I was certain he would crash into me I knew my time would be up. But it wasn’t, the red light changed and I drove off.

What will my life be like in three years? I have no idea, and that is just fine with me.

All vacations are windows into a different world and are almost all completely memorable for a wide variety of reasons. To choose one over all the others at this precise moment would be bonkers. Maybe when I have had my actual last holiday and I have time on my hands and feet, in some other realm, I could make a spreadsheet and engage with a futile holiday comparison. Every holiday, mini break, weekend away is a privilege. Each is a unique experience. Describe my most memorable vacation?  Not a chance. I may not have had it yet and in all honesty my bandwidth for things being memorable, both good and bad is huge. But every vacation really is a window into someone else’s world. A moment to be treasured not graded.

Written from my window into other worlds.

Sometimes these prompts from my blog hosts are useful and other times not at all. I am a life long gatherer of random knowledge. There is so much in my personal hippocampus/ temporal lobe archive, an archive that is not the tidiest,that it seems to be getting harder to retrieve my idiosyncratic collection of useless trivia. A question like the one above has me flummoxed. I have no idea what details of my life I could pay more attention to. Which of my details is not fully fleshed out   or completely explored and understood. Who is the judge of personal details that have been given proper attention to and those that need a little more work?

Flummoxed I maybe but I rather like the thinking process that makes my mind tingle with trying to create an answer. Right now I am trying to work out if this  is a good or bad prompt. I know it is not fully bad or of no interest because I scroll right past those. It is also not fully good because I don’t have an immediate response to blog about in a negative or positive way.

In conclusion I don’t know which aspect of my life needs closer attention, but I have given the matter some thought.

I have spent a few weeks with an old school friend digging out memories that we have both archived for more than fifty years. I am hugely surprised how quickly we could recall all that old data.  Even more impressive is the way other forgotten trivia continues to surface in my mind. All a bit pointless now as we are once again half a world apart.

Hard work in itself does not make me fulfilled. Hard work with a positive outcome is very fulfilling. But hard work  that fails to bring a good outcome is not fulfilling in any way. My hard work of the summer, painting an already white, heavily textured wall continues to reward me. I had no idea that a refresh of white paint would make such a difference. Especially now we have lost summer light, the optical brightness of the walls really enhances the more flimsy light of autumn. Hard work seems much harder to recover from when it does not bring the desired positive or pleasing result. I cannot imagine enjoying it for its own sake. I know plenty of people do. Thank goodness I am an optimist or I would never get out of bed without a guarantee of success.

There is a world of hard work for hard work sake that I rarely experience. The Gym for instance, great for physical recovery but once the recovery is achieved I have little interest. Is there any hope for me?

Absolutely, optimism is a superpower that trumps my aversion to pointless hard work.

What I think is the point of a list like this?

An infinite amount of things make me happy most days.

Better and easier perhaps to list the things that make me unhappy and yet that list is also infinite but in a much less significant way.

The impact of happiness is sustaining and expansive. We must all dwell in a state of unhappiness from time to time but I find it is best given a good thinking on. Pondering perhaps, but then finding ways of diminishing the impact of sadness on daily life. Dwelling on happiness is a good thing. I find the inside of broad bean outer cases as an instant happy fix.  Not perhaps something that marks me out as a wise old sage or internet wellness coach but it works for me every time. Similarly the inside of Horse Chestnut, conker,cases.

Imagine being so loved and nurtured that a disposable soft cocoon of natural fibres is created just to encourage you to thrive.  If  I was feeling particularly decadent as a small broadbean I would ask to grow near a bed of tomatoes so that my fluffy thriving was enhanced by the fragrance of crushed tomato leaves. So many things to make me happy. Why ever would I stop at thirty?

Sometimes when I read the random questions that my blog host suggests first thing in the morning, I immediately know the question is not for me. Today is just such a one. But then it niggled at me as my coffee woke me up.

Don’t we all make hundreds of tiny positive changes every day. Sometimes they add up to something fabulous which feels like a life changing moment. Quite often they add up to something fabulous but not what was expected. And sometimes despite all the positivity of intent some negativity slips into the process and everything in those moments feels a little out of control. Sub-optimal.

Is the size of the positive change the most important thing? Would anyone be interested in the hundreds of teeny tiny positive changes that happen in the course of one day.

This picture is an example of a teeny tiny positive change that occurred yesterday. The lighthouse mop could be dried in the sunshine and wind of yesterday’s weather. Probably for the first time in 6 months. A teeny tiny positive change that nobody noticed in the bigger picture.